Friday, November 7, 2008

It's over I guess

Now that the air has been cleared between the both of us and we are going our own separate ways, I guess it's time for her to concentrate on her career and looking for a better boyfriend. It was a very tough decision that I had to make and I also had to put up a very strong front to fend off her weeping face throughout last night. Even though in my heart I wanted her back but I had no choice of the matter as I have too many things to concentrate on at the time being and I needed to be alone to accomplish that.

Even up to this morning, my heart was still aching when she pleaded with me to consider our relationship that we have built throughout the years and all I said is it's over. I could see the pain in her eyes when she gave me back the ring that I gave to her as she left the house, I was so sad that I didn't know what to do. What is it that I'm actually suppose to do? At times I feel as though she's a burden to me and on other times, she's like an angel to me.

What is the right path for me to take? Should I just stick with the decision that I've made and move on? I really don't know what has happened to me as I've never doubted each and every decision that I've made throughout my life. Why must this happen now? 

My friend told me once that if a man can keep to a straight face to face off the tears of a woman you love crying right in front of you for the last hour, then that person is a damn meaner. I've successfully fended off her while she cried when we were ending our chapter. Does this mean I'm a damn meaner?

I guess, I'll have to let God decide whether we are meant for each other or not. I sincerely hope that she finds someone better that deserves her love and care and have a happy family together as I think I can't give that to her.


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