In a corner

Ever had the feeling of being trapped in a corner with limited space to move around thinking how you should plan your next move without being able to see the options available in front of you? 

Well I would say I've been through it many times before and each time it gets harder and harder. I've tried and tried so hard to get out of this kind of situations and never get back in but somehow it keeps haunting you. It's as though there's no end to it. Looks like I would have to draw up a plan to fully get myself out of this bind before either one of us gets seriously burnt or hurt.

It's been 3 years now living in this situation without being able to get out of it. I've sought many advices from my friends and family and the answers always comes back the same. Even though the answers are clear right now, I just don't know how to execute the plan. How do you tell someone who you're living with for the last 3 years that it's over and done. How do we get them to accept that the relationship is not working out at all. How do we break all the promises made 2 years back? 

I guess there's really no answer to all this question. I guess one of us has to take up the courage and tell it to the other person straight to the face and let the consequences of the event unfold. Even i had the courage to do so, when, how or where would be a good time for me to let it all out? These are the questions that has been haunting me for the last 6 months and I'm running out of time as it is getting closer to Chinese New Year. If this drags on pass Chinese New Year, then we will be expected to get married and I'm just not ready for it yet seeing the incompatibility between the both of us. You may think I'm not ready to commit to it but I just feel it's not the right person to start a family with. I'm thinking of the vow I made to myself and my future kids. I don't want them to go through what I've been through when I was a kid. 

If you browse through my previous blogs, you will see what I meant on this. I'm really stuck in a corner not knowing what to do. Should I let it all out and get it over and done with or should I wait for a better time to do it? I'm hoping for some kind of miracle or some light to hit me with the answers. So while pondering of what, when or how to do it, I was hoping that I could get some comments from the readers as well.

Till my next post.....

Cheers

p/s - Happy Halloween

5am

Here I am, sitting in front of my pc at 5 in the morning figuring how to kill some time just because I had to send somebody to the airport at 6. I thought I could do something like my Avril does all the time, which is to take a power nap for 15 minutes and be able to bounce all over the country side for the next 24 hours. After serious considerations on how well I am able to sleep no matter what, I've decided that I shall not sleep and do something till I send my friend to the airport.

After watching Wall-e and a couple more shows, I finally realized that I've ran out of movies to watch. What's next? Hmm....ah well, I thought I would just turn this pc on and further improve this blog site. After playing around with it for the last 1 hour, I'm finally done on the widgets that I wanted to add.

After a quick glance at the time, I noticed that I have another hour to kill before I'm due to pick him up from his house. Looks like I'm going to blog something after all I thought to myself. My brain activity has been so low that I find it difficult to think of what to write. In view of the situation, I hope that you could forgive the mistakes that I've made here.

Well, looks like it's going to be a good sleep till dinner time for me today. Luckily it's a Sunday and I don't have to work at all. So looks like I'm going to slowly get ready to go and pick my friend up and send him to the airport and make it back home before 8am.

Hope you guys have a great weekend.

Till my next blog....

Cheers

Doing the right thing

Is there ever a time when you feel that you have the the right thing that you're suppose to do but turns out completely the other way? i'm sure you've had this kind of encounters before. Like they always say, sometimes doing the right thing is not soing the right thing.

At times I thought I made a right choice of action to settle a certain set back in your daily life. After revealing this course of action taken to your parents, partners, friend and etc... they seem to think that you have made a fool out of yourself by making that choice. However, they failed to realize that at that juncture in time, that was the only option that looked like the best option to take in order to solve the dillema that you were facing.

Instead of supporting the choices you made, you were riddiculed either personally or in full view of the public without any hesitations. This brings me back to the point where I start to think to myself on whether I made the right choice or not. This deep soul searching process will lead to many negative thoughts and probably one or two positve thoughts. 

I was once told that to know by a dear friend of mine "Never regret the choices you make" but some how I can't see through this rationale as each decision I take seem to be heading nowhere. I've gone through all the possibilities in the situation and personalley felt that that is the choice to be made but somehow I was wrong. Do I regret the decission? 

There were many choices that I've made in the past were not quite good but I managed to pull through it and made it work to the best I could. Certain choices tend to haunt you down eveytime something similiar crops up and looking for the right alternative decissions seems to be getting harder and harder each time it crops up. 

They say learn from experience or learn from your mistakes. I wonder how many times will we have to go through the same scenario if the scenario had tens of thousands of solutions but only one is the right one. In other words, we just have to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again till you find the right one I guess. Even if you were given come advice by someone who has far more experience than you, would the solution to the problem be the right one in another person's eyes?

Making decisions in life is far more complicated than any algebra questions put together as in maths, there is always 1 answer to a question. To get there is just 1 simple formula. Some how this is not the actual simple equation that helps us solve our daily mystery questions.

Looks like this will another never ending story if we keep debating on this issue as there is never a perfect answer to your questions in life. I just hope that we all make the nearest answers and make up for the rest later in life.

Hope this gives you something to ponder on as I've been pondering on this for years now and I've not found the right solution to it.

Till my next posting....

Cheers