Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Shit Too Happens

After reading through a couple of blogs today, I finaly sat down to think what I was suppose to write. As I'm typing the words in, I'm still half decided on publishing this post. What the heck...

As we may all notice from the people who was born during the sixty's onwards, the divorce rates within each family was rather minimal. Those days, such cases were very rare even though there were such instances where there was a break up within the family. Some how, most of this cases were just a temporary measure. There was such a thing called "Happy Ending" within each family through thick or thin.

However, as we humans evolved through time, the news of a married couple going through a divorce procedure was slowly escalating during the late 70's and also the 80's. Unfortunately, I was one of those child who went through the painful process when your parents were filing for a divorce and not to mention fighting for custody rights. 

It was somwhere in 1982 or 1983...(can't really recall the exact year) my mom moved out of the house and left me with my dad. What transpired between them was unknown to me till today as I did not want to get into their problems as when we were young, we were thought never to meddle with the problems of the adults. 

Couple of months later, my mom with the help of one of my uncle took me and we lefft for Penang in his car. It never dawned onto me what was going on at that time as I was only around 3 years old. As we arrived Penang, we went to my other uncle's house to stay. It was from then on I was staying in Penang till I was somewhere around 8 years old.

On the last day of school in 1988, my dad appeared at the doorstep of my classroom and called out my name. I was quite shocked and at the same time pleased to see him at that juncture. We had a quick chat and then he arranged to take me back to KL. As we got back to KL, due to certain laws or notices put up by my mom to my school then, I was unable to continue my studies for the whole year of 1984. After going back and forth a few times between Penang and KL's education ministry, I was finally able to go back to school to resume my studies. From then on, I was staying with my dad and also my step mom. 

To me, I thought things were pretty normal and that I have a family even though she was not my mother and all, but she still took care of me. Events took a change when she was pregnant with her first child. From then on, her daughter was the most important thing in this world to the both of them and I was some sort an abandon child. 

I got from bad to worse and from worse to indescribable. I was extermely rebellious to the extend of running away from home at 3 am to go back to Penang. After all, I was going back to my mom's so it didn't matter that much to me as with or without me, it didn't matter that much to them.

For 1 year I stayed with my mom. Somehow I thought things would be much better off for me as I was staying with my mom. Along the way, due to her busy and hectic lifestlye, we never really spent that much time together. We had our good days and also our bad days.

After staying there for 1 year, I finally left Penang and came back to KL to stay with my dad again thinking things might have changed. Well I was wrong in that matter, in fact things got worse. It was so bad that I moved out of the house and started doing odd jobs to earn a living and support myself. 

That was the happiest time of my life as I could do what I want and when I want. The only thing missing was the love from our parents. But who cared, I told myself. 

Well it has been a while since that day and I still miss the love from my parents even though I almost 30 now. But come to think of it, how many years of love and care did I receive form both my parents together? Can you blame me for being who I am today? I guess I owe it to God who set me on a right path and also my friends who has supported me through out the years. I sincerely thank all of you.

Coming back to the point. It is always easy for adults to get over a sour relationship or marriage but have they ever thought of the consequences that will take place on that poor child pshycologically? I've seen quite a few kids growing up through either the same was I grew up or worse. The poor child feels abandoned and unwanted thus leading to a very unhealthy upbringing of a child.

For crying out loud, don't get married if you're sure that you'll get divorced should this marriage turns sour when you already have kids. If it's without any kids involved, then by all means divorce all you want. The actions that we adults take bares a great consequence on how the poor child will feel for the rest of their lives. Put the poor child in the picture first and think of the consequences should you decide to get divorced.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, don't get married until you are pretty sure that he or she is the right one for you. Word of wisdom, you may be happy during courtship but that doesn't mean that you guys can live under the same roof forever. 

Choose wisely and I hope and pray for those who are getting married soon that they will have an everlasting marriage with happy childrens.

Till my next post.....

Cheers.

p/s- Annette, hope you could read and see what I've been through as compared to you now. Remember that I'll love you always ok. Take care


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